The other day on the bus I had the incredible pleasure of standing next to a couple with the most attractive accents in the world – English ones. Oh my goodness it was actually the best half-hour bus drive ever, I just stood there like a normal person and listened to their Englishness. They were talking about cereal, specifically, porridge. And I have got to tell you, there is not an accent in the world that you can say porridge in and have it sound pretty. EXCEPT ENGLISH. It was super-hot, all this talk about porridge and raspberries yurrrrmy. And then the guy said AUGMENTATION, which was a little strange, I think they had stopped talking about porridge, and that was perhaps even lovelier. And then they got off the bus, and I was alone with my thoughts of Big Ben and corgis and Peter Pan.
Other things? Today my friend Chakkers and I were talking about how disgu-u-u-sting leopard print is, and once I was thinking about it I saw it everywhere. On flats, on skirts, on slippery skin-tight dresses, on bolero jackets and even an UMBRELLA. I won’t stand under your umbrella-ella-ella-eh-eh. It makes my eyes hurt.
Mhmm so now I’m just going to pretend that I live in England and get to listen to English accents for the rest of my life. Look at these gorgeous photos I took today in the place that I live!
And this is just a garbage donkey in Morocco, for fun.
Love you like all of the Lost Boys sitting on a double decker bus in Leicester Square.
2.I don’t have a subscription, or I’m not signed up or whatever, to Youtube, so I am commenting on this video here. This is one of the saddest/most aggravating things I have seen in a long time. There are so many things wrong with this video that it MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. So here are my ideas on it.
Firstly, just an observation; the majority of the people at that rally are middle-aged or older, and they are opposing the carbon tax. Now, just because they’ll more than likely be DEAD by the time global warming starts to make more of an impact on us, doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t support their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren by starting to foot the bill for the shit that THEY have done to our environment.
The next thing is that they all appear to be relatively well-off, or as Mr Abbott calls them, middle class Australians. If they actually are middle class, then surely they have enough money to pay an extra tax, especially if there is going to be compensation in place. I’m sorry, but it’s almost cringe-worthy to see Australians making such a big deal out of a new government policy when people in places such as Libya are attempting to free themselves from a long-standing dictatorship and paying dearly for it. Calling Julia Gillard a dictator is ridiculous and depressing when viewed in the light of countries which actually are under a dictatorship.
Then there are the signs which call Ms Gillard derogatory terms such as a bitch, a dictator, a liar. Terms such as these undermine the effectiveness of their campaign by making them appear extremist.
Don’t get me started on Pauline Hanson, please don’t. Let me just say that again, Mr Abbott himself has undermined his credibility by aligning himself with the former leader of the One Nation party who, for example, suggested that Australians are being ‘swamped by Asians’ and that ‘I and most Australians want our immigration policy radically reviewed and that of multiculturalism abolished.’ This is the same woman who wrote a book which suggested that Aboriginal women ate their own babies and the same woman who backed up this claim by saying that she wanted to ‘demonstrate the savagery of Aboriginal society’. So having her present at the Carbon Tax rally has both undermined the rally and Tony Abbott’s credibility by highlighting its extremist nature, and even if it wasn’t extreme in the first place, there definitely is a case against the rally now.
And all the signs spell Labor wrong. If you’re going to protest against the party, at least spell the name right, no?
Then, it’s not as if this carbon tax policy is the only time a politician has gone against a promise they have made in their pre-election campaign. I was six when the GST was introduced, and I still remember the fact that John Howard had sworn that, ‘There will not be a GST, not now, not ever!’ So how can this bunch of 40+ year-olds not remember this little fact? Selective memory? And is this not what they are criticising Ms Gillard for having in the first place?
And a comment on the video:
This pisses me off so much. Instead of saying "And a scientist who says we need to increase our CO2 levels" she says "A skeptic" because by calling David Archibald a scientist it gives his argument more weight, by calling him a skeptic it totally undermines his credibility, when in actual fact he is the freaking climate scientist not Ju-LIAR. WHY DO YOU PPL INSIST ON BELIEVING LYING POLITICIANS OVER REAL SCIENTISTS? ARE YOU INSANE????
It’s just funny. You should read all of the comments. You really should. And what the fuck is this?
Gillard and Abbott and all political parties have been told by those that control the WORLD, that they must have a carbon tax. They will lose their jobs if they do not pass this carbon tax. This will be the first world tax put upon the people of earth.
The people will have to pay this tax, not industry, companies will just pass the debt by higher charges.
The earth has less carbon in the atmosphere than the past, so they LIE.
Okay well right. That’s the first thing that I had to rant about. J The next thing, and this will be short I promise, is Brian McFadden’s new song Just The Way You Are (Drunk at the Bar).
… Auto tuned vomit.
Okay bye! Love you as much as I hate Tony Abbott. J
I don’t know if I’m the only one – I’m sure I’m not – but I always have this awkward dilemma at the end of every single email I send, and that is
HOW DO I SIGN OFF?
It’s hard, yeah? I mean, when you email a friend it doesn’t really matter. In fact, I even made this little signature when I was about ten to finish off all my emails – it’s my name with music notes around it, like this:
Clare
[Those music notes didn't show up, did they?] Now, although it’s a bit embarrassing, that’s a fine ending if you’re sending an email to a friend. But what about a teacher? So I compiled a little table, because I’m awesome, to show how hard it is to make this decision.
SIGN OFF
DOWNSIDE
Love,
Could possibly result in your teacher being fired. And you being regarded strangely for the rest of your life.
Yours sincerely,
The whole connotation of being owned by anyone is ridiculous (ignore the blog name), and adding the sincerely just puts the bright pink sombrero with sparkly trimmings on top.
See ya,
Whilst this may be true, it is a little casual. TEACHERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. Plus, your English teacher might kill you for that one. I take that back … I’d kill you for that one. “Ya” is a crime against humanity.
Best wishes,
Decidedly optimistic. This is the teacher you are talking to, after all. Although there is a slight element of satire if you use this phrase – Here is my five-thousand word essay. Enjoy reading and marking it and BEST WISHES.
I look forward to hearing from you,
Mhmm. Feedback on a crappy essay makes my day continuously.
xx
There is the possibility your teacher might think you are a) coming onto them or b) showing the level of poison within the email you have just sent. Depending on how 'down with it' they are. Okay never EVER using that phrase again :S
Thanks,
Finally, the only letter ending I ever feel comfortable using with a teacher. Mark my essay – THANKS! I’ve got a musical item for this week’s assembly – THANKS! I have a feeling you stole my pen from me – THANKS! It works in all situations … unless you actually do have a relationship with your teacher, in which case I would suggest not using emails to proclaim your love for them anyways, or else face the prospect of being torn away from your one true love by the furious force of the law.
In other news I:
Received two lovely bunches of flowers today for my birthday, from Adie and Tiantian and Gauri, and they were both beautiful. Thank you my pretties (Wizard of Oz much) so much for that, carrying flowers around all day makes me feel ridiculously special (albeit uncomfortable – I had to walk home from the shops and it’s quite a long walk and things were falling out of my hands everywhere but I GOT HOME and now the flowers are in this pretty terracotta vase).
Watched Glee (OH MY GOD) finally. And yes, Chloe and a whole bunch of others ruined it for me … I didn’t think Candles was so bad, by the way, whether or not it did lack auto-tuning. BUT OH MY GOODNESS KLAINE. I hope you have watched it … reader. Oh my goodness they’re so gorgeous together, and finally something good happens for Kurt. I swear that poor kid, nothing lovely ever happens to him. So that was nice. And I thought his rendition of Blackbird was pretty (although, yes, auto-tuned). The originals were okay, but a little tacky … you wish you were a loser like me? I see what you’re doing there, Glee. But yes, overall I really enjoyed the episode, Blaine is just the most gorgeous human being, I swear when he was confessing his love to Kurt I just wanted to give him a big hug!
Didn’t end up going to Q and A tonight … but I’m going to watch it now. So buh-bye! Also, when I was waiting for the girls to go do karaoke on Friday night, I compiled a list of things that REALLY REALLY ANNOY ME. :D It’s a pretty good list, if I say so myself. So I may post that one of these days.
This is a race against time. I have nine minutes (eight, technically) to post this within the 19th of March. BUT HEY – I am seventeen what do you know?
Um so I said yesterday that this would be the first of a long line of Sydney’s Student Secrets. So it is. It’s basically where I do things cheap that I don’t know if you know about or not, and then you thank me/have a better life because of it. So here you go.
#1 Feeling Peckish?
So you’re near Broadway Shopping Centre, you need a bit of a sugar hit but you have about twenty cents in your wallet. This, for me, is a common occurrence. So here’s the secret: go up to the Sportsgirl store and grab an item of clothing to try on. Go into the dressing rooms, and in the corner next to the window there is a chair, a stack of magazines and a HUGE BOWL OF LOLLIES. The blue ones are the best (although leave some for me).
If you are a guy and hence don’t feel like grabbing a dress and pretending to try it on, just walk in there, close one of the dressing room curtains and look incredibly bored, like you’re waiting for a particularly fussy friend. Trust me, works every time.
#2 Five Dollar Budget
There is a karaoke place near Hyde Park where, for $5, you can spend an hour singing from the most massive list of songs I have ever seen in my life, in a room that looks like it could be in a brothel (not that I know what that looks like), with a door that isn’t actually soundproof. SO MUCH FUN – best $5 I have ever spent in my life. Actually.
So I have three minutes until it is no longer my birthday L but nonetheless. I am going to post this now. YAY! Anyway I hope that these tips, along with the many that I will bring to you once I have discovered them, help to make your student experience in Sydney just that little bit more enjoyable. If you’re one of my (not actually that many) readers from OVERSEAS 1. CALL ME and 2. Come to Sydney, I give you permission to sleep on my couch and I will take you to the karaoke parlour and Sportsgirl and we will eat lollies and sing Taylor Swift like there is no tomorrow.
Love you bunches and IT’S MY BIRTHDAY! (For one more minute. Technically)
I was with some friends last week (SHOCK HORROR! OH MY GOSHNESS FRIENDS ARE YOU FOR CEREAL?) We talked about a whole bunch of things, namely not exams, but at one point my friend told us that someone had warned her to be careful because our school was getting a reputation for being ‘slutty’. Now this was something that grated for me on so many levels, not that it had anything to do with the girl who told the story (she’s gorgeous, clever, not a bitch and also nameless, because I’m not a bitch either … not that this is bitchy … ARGH), but just … I’ll explain.
Firstly, I’d just like you to know that I’m not someone who uses the word ‘slut’ to characterise anyone, whether maliciously or jokingly. I try not to make snap judgements based on the way someone acts or dresses, and obviously I’m not perfect so I do sometimes. However, I keep my first opinions of people to myself and remain open to be proved wrong. As per the Great Gatsby – “Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that …” Never have the first few pages of a book crystallised so many of my ideals into beautiful, coherent sentences for me. J But continuing.
I’ve been thinking along these sorts of lines since Tuesday – International Women’s Day – about slut-shaming. I dislike it when girls call others sluts, whether friendly or not, because it basically sends the message that it’s okay for guys to call us sluts too, bringing us back half a century to when marital status gave life value and promiscuous women were shunned by society. It’s setting a dangerous precedent, judging and categorising a girl based on her lifestyle choices.
I know that’s not what’s in question regarding our school’s ‘notoriety’ as a slutty school. What’s really being questioned is the values of young people. Sometimes I see a girl’s skirt and think, okay … that’s a belt. But I’ve been trying not to. I’d like to think that I have stopped judging people on their clothes, or lack thereof. It’s all about freedom of choice. I don’t judge women who cover up, donning a hijab or wearing long-sleeves, so I don’t want to judge women who wear miniskirts or bikinis. Personally, I don’t have the confidence, nor the wish, to wear ‘skimpy’ clothes. But just like I wouldn’t want people to categorise or judge me for wearing jeans and a sweater, I will not do that to others.
The same goes for something like smoking. It makes me sad to see young people damaging their health, and annoyed because it damages mine, but I can’t lecture them on it. It’s their life choice, and I’m sure they have their reason for it. In the end, I can’t know all their reasoning unless they tell me, and until they do, I can’t honestly pass judgement saying it’s wrong. It’s depressing for me, but it’s not up to me.
I’d like to finally consolidate my point with something a little personal (Ngawww, feel loved). I’ve always been what you might call underweight, but never unhealthily so. I eat well enough, I just happen to have a pretty fast metabolism. Good for you, you say, and it is good. But once one of my friends came up to me and told me that I was anorexic, that I was being stupid and vain because I wasn’t fat, and that I should go see a counsellor. She thought, based on my appearance, that I was in a specific bracket of people and needed her help. I laughed.
I’m not saying that you should never support your friends if you think that they’re in trouble, not at all. But it’s important to understand, to get the facts, and to do this by actually TALKING to them before you make up your mind. It can really hurt to realise people have been categorising you based on your appearance without knowing the full story.
Right well that deviated from the topic. Gosh, that wasn’t meant to be a lecture at all. These are just my personal opinions, so don’t take them as gospel, or anything. I’m thinking it would be sort of hypocritical for me to force my ideals down your throat, but maybe there’s something I said, like in the Great Gatsby (although surely not as eloquently) that crystallised something for you. But in the end, debate makes the world a more interesting place. Also, if you could be bothered to real all that and still want to procrastinate some more, I would love to hear what you think about the new slutty nature of our school, or about slut-shaming, or anything.
You are sixteen going on seventeen baby it’s time to think better be wary canny and careful baby you’re on the brink you are sixteen going on seventeen fellows will fall in line eager young lads and rogues and cads will offer you food and wine totally unprepared are you to face a world of men timid and shy and scared are you of things beyond your ken you need someone older and wiser telling you what to do I am seventeen going on eighteen I’ll take care of you.
I am sixteen going on seventeen I know that I’m naïve fellows I meet may tell me I’m sweet and willingly I believe I am sixteen going on seventeen innocent as a rose bachelor dandies drinkers of brandies what do I know of those totally unprepared am I to face a world of men timid and shy and scared am I of things beyond my ken I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do you are seventeen going on eighteen I’ll depend on you.
So it was the night before a maths exam in year ten and our topic was circle geometry. I, being a generally non-mathematical being but LOVING geometry oh my goodness, wanted to get 100% or more even. But I couldn’t remember any of the rules. There’s about a million.
To fix this dilemma, I used what everyone should use when attempting to remember things: I wrote a song. Each verse had different rules about circle geometry. All I’d have to do in the exam was to sing the song to myself and I’d remember the rules. Yay!
It also had a chorus. I was heaps proud of it because it was very catchy and rhymed pretty well. J
So it’s the day of the exam. Yay! I’m in class, we get our paper and I turn it over. I’m thinking how clever I am because I sang and played the guitar for the song all night and recorded it and listened to it while I slept, brain-washing style. I am also thinking how clever I am because believe it or not, the song is stuck in my head!
And when I say ‘the song’, I mean ‘the chorus’. I failed miserably because the words circling around and around in my head were:
Oh circle, circle geometry
You make me want to get optometry
I’m crying my eyes out in pain
I try to understand but it’s all in vain
It’s times like these I wish I could borrow
Amelia’s brain cause the test’s tomorrow …
I still remember those words to this day.
Love you as much as I would love Amelia’s brain to be transported into my skull for tomorrow and the day after and the day after BUT NOT THE DAY AFTER THAT! Because Thursday, exams are FINISHED FOREVER. J So excited.
Funny thing is, I’m not nervous in the least. Nor stressed. Nor prepared. I’m just a drama queen.
SO: good luck to everyone, I hope your exams go spiffingly, I hope you remember to BREATHE REMEMBER TO BREATHE and don’t take caffeine tablets, kids, you’ll die as soon as you turn into a camel. (I’m being ironic. Trust me. It’s cool?)
And other than that, make sure you sleep well tonight, eat your Weet-bix, and in the end, put it in perspective. Firstly, I know you all and you’re all going to be fine. You’re the smartest people I know in the entire world and you DO know your stuff, no matter how much study you have done. Remember, the last few weeks in class have been all about our teachers getting us ready for these exams, so whether or not you have specifically studied, you’ve done at least four or five hours of exam prep IN CLASS. IT’LL BE OKAY.
So yes. I’m not going to wish you 100%. I’m going to wish you that brilliant fuzzy feeling of achievement.
We’re going to be awesome.
Love you as much as Danielle’s belonging creative.
(P.S. This song is brilliant, and I post it IRONICALLY. J)
Yeah right. Lynx is more likely to make me want to kill myself.
My brother is a little obsessed with spritzing his freckly skin with as much Lynx deodorant as humanly possible. Not only does this make him smell, it actually travels through the entire house and makes my bedroom stink as well. On Sunday I literally had to sit outside and study with the door closed, because if I opened the door a tidal wave of that disgusting stench would pour out.
So I wrote a song for how much I hate Lynx. Note this doesn’t refer to my brother. It refers to anyone, ANYONE who wears Lynx and thinks it’s attractive. BECAUSE IT’S NOT. It’s called ADVERTISING. Thank you very much.
No Air (to the tune of No Air by Jordin Sparks)
V1
If I should die or even faint
It’s cause you wear too much deodorant
It’s like being suffocated by a plastic bag
And if you walk in here wearing
So much scent you catch me staring
It’s cause you stink, not cause I want a shag.
Bridge
Believe me, you don’t have the power
To make me ‘Bom Chika Wow-wow’
And excess of deo doesn’t mean that you don’t have to shower
Chorus
Tell me how I’m s’posed to breathe with no air
Your Lynx deodorant is making me ‘bleaurgh’
If you don’t move I’m finished I’m sure
There’s no air, air
We’re out here on this dance floor so wide
How can I have fun with you by my side?
Can you please just move over there?
There’s [no air, air] x4
V2
When it comes to enclosed trains
Buses or trams or even planes
Lack of fresh air is a sure sign that you shouldn’t spray
And then don’t get me started on
All those chlorofluorocarbons
That you release by wearing Lynx every day.
[Back to bridge]
Alrighty so I’m going to sleep now. I’m very tired. Although excited. What for? We’ve been talking about what we’re going to do for schoolies today. [ROAD TRIP] Yum. J It’s pretty cool actually.
