Anonymouse

If I could do my drama IP on anything in the world, it would be a monologue from the POV of Anonymouse – a mouse that has written all of the amazing sayings and poems and songs in the world that don’t have an author’s name. And now, because I have finished my real IP (HAHAHAHA I wish) I will write this imaginary one.

Anonymouse

You know what they say … a closed mouth gathers no feet. Well fuck that! I’m going to say what I want, and I just won’t tell the world who I really am. All I have to do is cut the ‘e’ off my name …

That’s right. I bet you always wondered where the word ‘anonymous’ came from. [Gangster tone] Well, my name’s Anony and I’m a mouse. Ta da! [Slowly looks at the ground with dawning sadness]

Some people – the people who know, that is – ask me how I can do it. I have given society so much and received no credit. Don’t even have a boyfriend … haven’t been kissed. Few days ago someone tried to kill me with a mousetrap! I squeaked, DUDE, if you enjoy the fruit, pluck not the flower! You’d think they might learn, these humans. But no. Bad habits are like a comfortable bed – easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

And they don’t fool me, either. I know why they like my quotes, I do. It’s cause they can just use them wherever they want and they don’t have to worry about fucking copyright issues. [Begins to cry] Is a little recognition too much to ask for? I say it doesn’t matter to me, that I’d prefer them to not know who I am, but it’s not true. I deserve so much more. We mice deserve SO MUCH MORE. [A moment of realisation] I’m doing this for all mouse-kind.

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. Well, I have written thousands upon thousands of wise sayings and my name IS living forever. ANONYMOUSE. There until eternity, there until the stars explode into flecks of dust that will eventually cover my words. But there it is, my name, in the heavens. They just don’t know it yet.

The End

Haha I’m pretty happy with that. Who knows, someday I might use it. And uh-uh-uh! Don’t even think about questioning the swearing. Don’t you know anything? All drama monologues have some level of coarse language in them. My friend Kate said a whole bunch of swear words, even the c-word, which I haven’t ever thought about saying so I won’t now, to my drama teacher (in context, but still) and my teacher didn’t even blink an eye. It’s what drama’s about, kids.

Right. Well. Night!

Lots of love,

ANONYMOUSE

A little nonsense now and then

Is relished by the wisest men

-Anonymouse.