Managing HSC Stress - The Seminar

Well, today we had a special HSC stress management seminar thingo that took up half of our modern double and most of lunch. I know! It better have been useful, you think. Oh, yes, it was very useful. I took the best notes EVER.

We file into the Campbell Hall and sit down in the rows of blue plastic chairs. Up the front, this lady is flicking through PowerPoint slides with titles like “The ABC Model!” and “Avoiding HSC Myths!” I go in with a neutral mindset, trying to be fair to this lady (she’s from UTS and has a psychology degree of some description, after all), but after she tells us in about five minutes that she’s going to try and get through it as quickly as possible I can’t help being a bit cynical. So I took the following notes.

·         Use a lot of exclamation marks – It depends on how you think!!!!! This is sooo bad!!

·         If you’re feeling stressed, you need to DO SOMETHING. I’m going to vent. About how stupid HSC stress management seminars are.

·         Ooh the tricky part – and it’s labelled the ABC model.

·         “Has anyone ever not got the mark they wanted in a test?” NO. I am a perfect human being.

·         This is how you feel: unmotivated, sad, hopeless, stupid. WOW. Thank you so much for that.

·         “When you catastrophise you predict a catastrophe.” 1. Catastrophise is not a word. 2. I am worried about school … oh my gosh next Tuesday there’s going to be a landslide in Dubbo!

·         I love how when these presenters talk they think that everything they’re saying is ground-breaking. They stand at the microphone with their arm dangling over the podium and say, “You think about things in extremes … yes? So think about it IN PERSPECTIVE. It’s easy now, huh? You’re welcome!”

·         “We identify and try to challenge the patterns of unhelpful thinking that are causing you to feel stressed!!!” …OKAY!!!

·         If you’re sitting on a train and feeling stressed, imagine consoling a friend about the same problem. Have a little chat about it. (Wait … talk to myself, on the train? Out loud? I’m confused … Clare, don’t be confused, just smile! … You’re right, Clare. What’s that lady looking at over there? … I think it may be us. You. Me. You know?)

·         Did she really just offer us sheets that we can pick up from the front telling us the Three Points to Success and suggest we laminate the sheet and put it on the back of the bathroom door? Really?

·         Avoid buying into HSC myths! Myth #1 Year of ceaseless toil!! (Haha, year of ceaseless toil. Is there a more ridiculous way of saying that?)

·         “I stayed in the school choir during the HSC … and it just made my heart sing.” Hahahaha accidental puns.

So an hour of useless stuff later, this is the lady’s ultimate message.

Key things to take away from today:

·         Breathe.

·         Do it.

·         Think helpfully.

Wow thank you so much.

J That was fun. Um also I was watching the 7pm Project tonight and there was a bit of shameless cross-promotion going on, nothing unusual really. They presented, as news, a promo for Sunday’s episode of Bondi Rescue, disguising it as a beach safety announcement. While this is disappointing but expected, I thought it was really funny when the anchorman-guy said, “Now before you dismiss this as a plug for Bondi Rescue, just hear this story of a boy you lifeguards rescued …” and at the end of the ‘news’ piece, he said, “And you can catch the full story here on Channel Ten on Sunday night.”

Okay well this weekend I’m studying, maybe going to State Library with Chloe, and maybe I’ll grab myself one of those macaroons she and Phoebe are always going on about. Other than that, I’ll be breathing, just doing it, and thinking helpfully. And not watching Bondi Rescue thanks very much all the same.

Ciao bella and TTFN and maybe if I have time I’ll write a post about Harry Potter which I’ve been dying to do for ages but haven’t gotten round to it.

Love youse all. (Doesn’t that make you just cringe?)

x