Is there something, Clare, that you’ve been meaning to rant about for ages on this blog that no one reads because we’re actually cool people and hence you won’t have to be embarrassed by it not that you are anyway but that you might want to share with us RIGHT NOW because you have time and don’t want to do extension two logbook stuff?
Um yes there is! Funny you would ask actually. That thing, that I love, that you apparently are desperate to hear about, is Sweden.
Sweden? I hear you ask. What is a Sweden? Ah, well, let me illuminate you and your poor deprived Sweden-less minds.
Sweden is what I love. Or rather, Swedish. The language. And the people who speak it. Holy moly I am in lurve with anyone Swedish. Are you Swedish? Call me. *Wink*
Just kidding. But no seriously it’s heaps cool. I, for one, am proud to say that I am, somewhere back in my ancestry, a little bit Swedish. My great-great-great grandfather or something had one of those typical Swedish names, I’m pretty sure it was Sven something, and was from Sweden, which just makes me generally a better person in some way, shape or form. But that’s not actually where my love affair began with all things Swedish. No. It started with a movie.
I can’t remember what it was called actually. It was on the World Movies channel though and there wasn’t much on so mum and I watched it. And then I learnt that Swedish was just a brilliant, amazing language that sounds so beautiful and lyrical. Yeah, it’s not as sexy as French, true, or as popular as a British accent, but I found myself at once strangely and dangerously attracted to it.
Suddenly Swedish stuff just popped up everywhere. I was listening to 702 (I told you I’m cool) one night whilst doing my chores and, whoops, they were interviewing two singer/songwriters from Sweden who then played this gorgeous song and I forget what their name was but it was just brilliant.
We do Belonging for English in year twelve and last term my English teacher brought in a DVD called As It Is In Heaven and she said it was a foreign language film and I laughed and turned to my English Advanced bestie Mahrukh and said, haha if it was in Swedish. AND IT WAS. And then my entire class fell in love with Swedish. Or something along those lines. And I understood when they said that it was eleven o’clock – klockan elva – because I’ve been teaching myself the language.
So what can I say in Swedish? Not much, actually. I can say thank you – tack. And I can say thank you so much – tack så mycket. And I can say which country do you come from? – Vilket land kommer du ifrån? Pardon my spelling. I don’t know how to spell Swedish, only to say it, and it sounds pretty cool. I know other things, too, like numbers up to and including six and then also eleven.
OH MY GOD THERE IS A MASSIVE COCKROACH IN MY ROOM. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t swear. But it is pretty massive. That’s what she said! Dearie dearie me I am being such a child this afternoon. Plus then I just read back on what I had written and oh dear. I used the word ‘bestie’. I’m not usually like this, sometimes I write nice things. Someday I’ll show you something nice I have written. But not today. For today, I am a child! WAHOO. Oh right I need to get rid of that cockroach. I will be right back with low irritant surface spray for crawling insects. Hopefully it will irritate the cockroach though. Oh dear. It’s gone underneath my bedside table/chest of drawers (it’s multipurpose!). That means it’s both dangerously close to my head and unable to be reached. FOR NOW. MWAHAHAHA cockroach you are being awaited by a murderous teenage girl with a 250g can of low irritant surface spray for crawling insects. And I don’t take any prisoners.
What’s worse do you reckon, cane toads or cockroaches? I remember discussing this in French last week because we were doing stuff about the Queensland floods and apparently all the cane toads were trying to escape them or something. And then we started talking about how Queenslanders are the cane toads and New South Wales-ians are the cockroaches. I would say, I’d much rather not have a cane toad in my room. Plus they kill a whole bunch of other animals and have … I don’t want to say ‘wiped out’ because that’s extreme and I don’t really know if it’s true or not … severely depleted frog populations in Queensland as well as other stuff. And they’re slowly encroaching on the rest of Australia. Cockroaches are just there, and they’re icky, and yes, they fly, which is disgusting, but I live in Sydney. There are so many cockroaches in Sydney that you just have to get used to them. Sometimes I go walking around the streets of my VERY SAFE suburb at night and I like to walk barefoot in the rain because I’m a super hippy or something and I have to watch carefully because sometimes the ground seems to move and it’s just a whole bunch of cockroaches streaming across the path.
I’m kidding! There are lots of cockroaches but not that many. Although once a month or so ago I did step on a slug when I was walking in the dark. Then I walked into a spider web and did the Awkward Spider Dance. :S Yeah. I’m so cool.
Okay I’m really glad that insect spray is low irritant because I actually just used half the can killing that cockroach. Yay!
Did you know? There’re places in Queensland where you can go and kill cane toads and then put them in a bag and then give them in at the corner shop and if you get a certain amount you get a free ice cream.
Did you know? There’s an average of one spider in every square metre in Australia.
Did you know? I forgot that this was supposed to be about Sweden so I should give you some Sweden facts.
Did you know? The Crown Prince of Sweden, Prince Carl Phillip, is rated number 9 in the Forbes List of the 20 Hottest Young Royals. It’s sad that I know this, I know, but it was for a speech I had to do in French class about what/who we want to do OH MY GOD I’M BEING AWFUL AGAIN I KNOW when we grow up. Mine went along the lines of being in a theatre group that toured Europe and then making that guy, Prince Carl Phillip, number 9 in the Forbes List of the 20 Hottest Young Royals, fall in love with me, then becoming Princess of Sweden, and then invading Greenland because that’s an in-joke that you don’t understand unless you know me and Tiantian and Amelia and a whole bunch of other people that I love a lot. Amelia, you’re wrong.
Did you know? I didn’t, not really, only because it had something to do with Prince Carl Phillip of Sweden (Sweden … sigh …) I SWEAR, but there’s a list of the 20 Hottest Young Royals and now I’m really interested to see it. Placing bets, anyone, anyone?
1. Prince William. – Um, maybe back in 2008 … which was when this article was written oh my bad. He’s got a bald spot. Ew. But English accent. That’s a positive thing.
2. Prince Harry. – Meh. I don’t think I’m really into the English royal family at the moment, actually. They just don’t cut it for me.
3. Zara Phillips. – Another English person. Bloody ‘ell. Haha my dad made a joke about that the other day. I couldn’t find my L-plates and he looked at me and put on a Cockney accent and said, “Aw, bloody ‘ell!” Well I laughed anyway. WHY OH WHY DID I DO THIS? TWENTY ROYALS THAT’S A WHOLE BUNCH! I’ll just put a hyperlink to the pictures of them.
You’re welcome! And I have a feeling by ‘hottest’ they just meant coolest or most out and about. Because number eight, that Azim guy. What? Carl is so much hotter. Seriously.
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That’s Carl Phillip by the way. YOU’RE WELCOME ONCE MORE. Not the most attractive photo, just the one the Forbes magazine used. I AM NOT A WEIRD STALKER. He’s 32 or something along those lines. Actually he is exactly 32 and that just confirmed my weird stalkingness. I don’t really want him. I just want to be princess of Sweden. And invade Greenland. And I told you already that I’m dangerously attracted to Swedish people. Dangerously and also probably awkwardly. |
Bye bye bunnies.
Prince William. Pre-baldage.
ReplyDeleteOr Kate Middleton. Does she count? She's royal by marriage so still kind of royal. She's hot.